My First Few Months: Updating My Family Back Home About Life in Berlin

It’s been nearly six months since I moved to Berlin, and honestly, the biggest hurdle hasn’t been learning German (though that’s definitely still a work in progress!). It’s been keeping my family – my parents, my sister, and her husband – updated on how I’m doing. They worry, of course, and they want to know if I’m okay, if I’m happy, and… well, if I’m settled. It’s surprisingly complicated, even with a decent grasp of the language. You quickly realize it’s not just “Ich bin gut” – it’s how you say it, and what you actually mean to convey.

The Initial Confusion: “Sind Sie verheiratet?”

The first few times I tried to tell my mum, Maria, how I was settling in, it was a disaster. I kept falling into the trap of just stating facts. I’d say, “Ich bin in Berlin. Ich habe ein Zimmer.” (I’m in Berlin. I have a room.) And she’d respond with, “Aber sind Sie verheiratet?” (But are you married?) It wasn’t that she didn’t believe me, she just wanted reassurance! It really highlighted how different their way of communicating is. In England, we’d just assume she understood.

I realized I needed to frame my answers differently. I started using the possessive pronouns – mein (my) – to make it clearer. “Ja, ich habe mein Zimmer hier in Berlin.” (Yes, I have my room here in Berlin.) It felt clunky at first, but it helped.

Numbers, Numbers, Numbers – The Child Situation

This was a whole other layer of difficulty. My sister, Sophie, has two children, Leo (7) and Mia (5). My parents are obsessed with their ages. I’d tell them, “Leo ist sieben Jahre alt.” (Leo is seven years old.) and they’d immediately launch into a detailed discussion about his birthday, his school, and whether he’s getting better at football.

The problem is, I don’t want to talk about their ages constantly. I just want them to know they’re okay! So, I started practicing saying things like, ” Meine Kinder sind klein.” (My children are small.) – even if they’re not that small. It’s a quick way to reassure them they exist and are being cared for. I also learned to respond to questions about their ages with a brief, positive statement. “Ja, ihre Kinder spielen viel.” (Yes, their children play a lot.) It’s a simple way to acknowledge the question without getting bogged down in the details.

Practice Conversations – Real-Life Scenarios

Here’s an example of a conversation I had with my dad, Klaus, last week:

• Klaus: “Wie geht es deinem Bruder?” (How is your brother doing?)
• Me: “Es geht mir gut, danke. Meine Wohnung ist schön. Ich arbeite in einer guten Firma. Meine Kinder sind hier. Leo ist sieben und Mia ist fünf.” (I’m doing well, thank you. My apartment is nice. I work in a good company. My children are here. Leo is seven and Mia is five.)
• Klaus: “Gut, gut. Aber was machen sie denn so?” (Good, good. But what are they doing?)
• Me: “Sie lernen Deutsch und spielen im Park.” (They are learning German and playing in the park.)

He was completely fixated on what they were doing, not just that they were there. I realized I needed to anticipate these questions and proactively provide the information they wanted to hear.

The Importance of “Wie ist es?” (How is it?)

Honestly, one of the most helpful things I’ve learned is to just respond to “Wie ist es?” (How is it?) with a general, positive statement. Even if things aren’t perfect, saying something like, “Es ist gut, ich lerne viel.” (It’s good, I’m learning a lot.) gives them a sense of security. They just want to know I’m making an effort and that I’m safe.

Little Mistakes, Big Lessons

I made a huge blunder a couple of weeks ago. I was talking about my job and said, “Ich habe einen guten Job in Berlin.” (I have a good job in Berlin.) My dad immediately asked, “Wie viel verdienen Sie?” (How much do you earn?) I completely froze! I hadn’t anticipated that question, and I don’t really want to discuss my salary with my parents. It was a valuable lesson – always be prepared for follow-up questions.

Final Thoughts

Updating my family is a constant negotiation. It’s about finding the balance between providing them with the information they need and managing their expectations. I’m learning that communication isn’t just about saying the right words in German; it’s about understanding their perspective and responding in a way that eases their worries. And, truthfully, knowing they’re thinking of me, even if they’re asking about Leo’s football skills, makes this whole experience a little bit easier. “Ich bin dankbar.” (I am grateful.)