Navigating ‘Das’ – Talking About Fairness in Germany

It’s been six months since I arrived in Berlin, and let me tell you, learning German is hard. Seriously hard. But it’s also, unbelievably, the key to everything. Not just understanding the directions to the supermarket (which, by the way, are entirely in German and involve baffling symbols), but also, and this is what’s really fascinating, understanding the conversations about fairness and opportunity that are happening everywhere.

The First Conversation – The Job Interview

My first job interview was a disaster. I was so excited – a small marketing agency, perfect for a fresh graduate from my university. The interviewer, Herr Schmidt, was a lovely man, but when I enthusiastically described my work on a university project – a digital campaign for a local arts festival – he just stared.

“Und Sie haben das… wo? Bei der Universität gemacht, richtig?” (And you did that… at the university, right?) he asked, tilting his head.

I said, “Ja, natürlich. Aber ich habe auch viele Freiwilligenarbeit für das Festival gemacht! Ich habe die Website aufgebaut, die Social Media Kampagne erstellt…” (Yes, of course. But I also did a lot of volunteer work for the festival! I built the website, created the social media campaign…)

He cut me off. “Ach, das ist gut. Aber Sie haben doch ein gutes Elternhaus, nicht wahr? Das hilft oft.” (Oh, that’s good. But you come from a good family, doesn’t it? That often helps.)

I completely froze. I realised, in that moment, that he was subtly suggesting my success was due to my background, not my skills. I stumbled through an explanation, trying to demonstrate my abilities, but it felt… inadequate. I didn’t say anything about my part-time jobs in college or the hours I’d spent building my portfolio. I just felt like I was fighting against a silent assumption.

The key phrase I learned from that experience was ’privilegierter Hintergrund’ – privileged background. It’s a phrase people use, often unintentionally, when discussing someone’s success.

“Warum haben Sie sich für dieses Unternehmen entschieden?” – Addressing Assumptions

This happened again last week when I was talking to a colleague, Sarah, about why I chose to work at this smaller startup. She was asking, “Warum haben Sie sich für dieses Unternehmen entschieden? Es ist so klein und… nicht so prestigeträchtig.” (Why did you choose this company? It’s so small and… not so prestigious.)

I wanted to explain that I was drawn to the team’s passion and the innovative projects they were working on. But I realised I could respond in a way that acknowledged her assumption.

I said, “Ich finde es spannend, weil ich hier mehr Verantwortung habe und ich wirklich etwas bewegen kann. Ich weiß, dass es vielleicht nicht das ‘Name’ Unternehmen ist, aber ich bin bereit, hart zu arbeiten und zu lernen.” (I find it exciting because I have more responsibility here and I can really make a difference. I know it might not be the ‘Name’ company, but I’m willing to work hard and learn.)

Adding ‘Ich bin bereit, hart zu arbeiten und zu lernen’ – I’m willing to work hard and learn – felt like a little shield against her unspoken judgment.

Everyday Conversations & Vocabulary

Here’s some everyday German I’ve picked up that’s relevant to these discussions:

• Gleiche Chancen: Equal opportunities
• Vorurteile: Prejudices
• Diskriminierung: Discrimination
• Soziale Gerechtigkeit: Social justice
• Vielfalt: Diversity
• Integration: Integration (a key topic here!)
• ‘Es ist nicht immer einfach…’ – ‘It’s not always easy…’ (A common response to challenging situations)

Misunderstandings and Corrections

I accidentally said something incredibly insensitive last month while talking to a group of older women at a local Kaffeeklatsch (coffee get-together). I was explaining my work, and I used the word ‘Erfolg’ (success). One of the women, Frau Müller, frowned and said, “Aber was ist Erfolg für Sie? Nicht nur Geld, oder?” (But what is success for you? Not just money, right?)

It hit me – my definition of success was likely shaped by my upbringing, and perhaps it wasn’t considered ‘ideal’ here. I quickly corrected myself and explained that for me, success meant making a positive impact and contributing meaningfully, which felt incredibly vulnerable and important to address.

Learning to Speak Up

It’s not easy. The pressure to conform, the subtle biases… it’s tiring. But I’m trying to be more assertive. When I sense a conversation drifting towards assumptions about my background, I’m practicing saying things like: “Ich möchte betonen, dass meine Fähigkeiten und Erfahrungen meine Grundlage sind.” (I want to emphasize that my skills and experience are my foundation.)

I’m still learning German, and I’m still learning about Germany. But I’m learning that talking about privilege and equal opportunities – in German and in any language – is a crucial part of building a truly inclusive and just society. It’s about actively challenging assumptions, celebrating diversity, and, most importantly, continuing to learn and grow. Weiter lernen! (Keep learning!)